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Oh Shit! – Kings of Leon Get Pooped On By Pigeons

For those Facebook friends of mine out there, some of you are aware that many of my ‘Status Updates’ begin with the phrase “Oh Shit”. I figure that based on that phrase I am just the person to write this article.

 

The ticket says “Rain or Shine” but speaks nothing of pigeons, doves, or any other creature which decides to fly overhead and ruin a perfectly good rock concert. Oh, of course during the time of Jesus, Pterodactyls would grab unsuspecting individuals to their nests to feed their young.  But the idea of birds ruining a rock concert should more be in tune with the Hitchcock classic “The Birds” when they are attacking the characters, and not simply defecating on them.

 

The Kings of Leon, working on a plan to conquer the Stadium Rock industry pulled an “Anti-Rock” moment last Friday night when they cancelled their show after three songs because Pigeons were bombing them overhead.

 

One of my favorite phrases was from Kings of Leon Drummer, Nathan Followill of the “Followill Clan” later by saying on Twitter: “It was just too unsanitary”.

 

Unsanitary?  Well why in the hell are you pretending to be a rock and roll band if you are worried about sanitary conditions?

 

I mean “Sanitation” is never a big selling point in the rock business. If you are concerned about diseases and such that pigeons might be some of the more healthy items you will come across.

 

I am sorry but Kings of Leon should not be referred to as rock artists but new age jazz. This is something that I would expect out of Kenny G.

 

(Of course, this is totally Morrissey’s M.O. but lets face it, Kings of Leon are not even close to wearing Stephen Patrick’s shoes.)

 

Could you imagine Ozzy stopping a show because pigeons are crapping on him? Sure there might be a delay as he might start climbing the rafters to bite the head off . Johnny Lydon who was often spat upon while a member of the Sex Pistols would have probably stuck his tongue out in an effort to eat it.  Speaking to a colleague about this today, he imagined that Alice Cooper would have dissected it. Ted Nugent would have pulled a rifle onstage and shot those pigeons and cooked up squab for the encore. And I can only imagine what Led Zeppelin would have done.

 

The question of course that I have is whether these pigeons are in any way related to the Dave Matthews Band.  DMB decided one night in Chicago, to dump their personal excrement from their tour bus right on the Kinzie Street bridge’s metal grating only to land bullseye on a tour boat below.

 

This is also the thing that you don’t want to be part of your Wikipedia band page entry.  

 

This is the moment where you have to turn in your “Rock Badge”. It is time for a band meeting and question exactly why you are in this gig to begin with. Plus, if your music cannot scare pigeons away then maybe you are not a rock and roll band to begin with.

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